this subject has been coming at me from various directions recently - one friend posted an Ayn Rand quote and another posted something from the American Declaration of Independence, and it's got me into this very rambling train of thought, full of "on the other hand"s. So, as is my wont when these things happen, I've come here to ramble.
the Ayn Rand quote had two parts - the first was about valuing yourself, the second was about fighting for your happiness. the first bit I have no problem with whatsoever.
in fact, I believe we humans go through a humungous amount of unnecessary suffering because we undervalue ourselves. and I believe one of the most important messages people need to hear is: you are precious, you were made in God's image, he loves you so much that he sent his son to die in your place - that's how precious you are, not just to some ordinary human but to the creator of the universe himself!
so, yes, value yourself. definitely. you are precious, significant, a unique individual with your own unique gifts and God regards you as precious.
but does that necessarily mean you should fight for your happiness, as Ayn Rand suggested? (I'm not going to try and unpick the thing in the American Declaration of Independence about a right to pursue your happiness - the whole issue of what we mean by "a right" and where we might get these "rights" from is a whole 'nother story. Not for now.)
Now, I need to slightly digress here and say: sometimes there's stuff we read which can be really valuable for a certain person because of where they're at right now, and for another person it could be useless, or even dangerous, because of where they're at. It's to do with the journey we've been through, the things we have struggled with, the things we have yet to learn, the emotional scars that still need healing, etc.
It's a bit like the "slow" signs on the roads. I remember in one of my driving lessons, driving through a rather bendy road where the speed limit was 60mph but I was a bit scared so I was probably doing 40, I came to a "slow" sign and my driving instructor saw me reach for the brake pedal and said: no, don't slow down, that sign is for people doing 60 and more.
So if someone has been doing 25 on the "pursuit of happiness" road then perhaps they do need encouragement to speed up a bit. Whereas for those who tend to go over the speed limit anyway, what is more helpful is a "slow" sign.
End of detour. Back to the matter in hand: pursuing happiness, fighting for your happiness - here are my jumbled thoughts.
My immediate reaction, seeing this quote on a Christian friend's blog, was: but how can you square fighting for your happiness with the call to seek first the kingdom of God, trusting that he will provide all that we need? or with that stuff Jesus said about taking up your cross and following him? not to mention being prepared to face persecution for your faith?
But on the other hand - didn't Jesus say he came so that we may have abundant life? and doesn't God love me and want me to be happy?
And then again - what is happiness anyway? and how would one go about pursuing it, or fighting for it? Doesn't happiness tend to find you in some very unexpected places, when you're busy doing other things, maybe even doing things for other people - when you've decided to take up your cross, to forgo your own happiness for the sake of others?
We've been told to love others as we love ourselves - which does kind of presuppose that we do love ourselves, and if I met someone who doesn't then I would start with that, I wouldn't start by preaching selflessness to them. This goes back to my earlier driving analogy. If a person is very egocentric then they need to learn to love others more, but if a person is a virtual doormat then they need to learn to value themselves more.
But assuming we've got that bit in place, the loving ourselves bit, then we are told to love others as we love ourselves - so pursuing my own happiness shouldn't be at the top of my agenda. I'm not saying it shouldn't be there at all - just that it shouldn't become more important than pursuing other people's happiness.
As a Christian, what should be at the top of my agenda? Loving God and loving others.
Jesus told us to seek first God's kingdom and trust that our Father knows what we need and will take care of us. So yes, God loves me and wants what's best for me, and knowing how much he values me, how precious I am to him, I can trust him to provide all that I need. (though not necessarily what I'd like and when I'd like it...) I don't think he wants me to put my efforts into chasing after happiness, I think he'd much rather I pursued his agenda and not mine, trusting in his love and faithfulness.
And of course if I love God, then doing his will is where I'll find true happiness.
But on the other hand... if a person has been overdoing the selfless sacrifice side of things, then it may be that God's message to them where they're at is: hey, loosen up a bit, you don't actually have a responsibility to fix the problems of everyone in the universe - that's my job. Stop working so hard. Go get an ice cream, take a walk in the park, play with the kids/pets/whatever, take time to actually enjoy life!
Some people undervalue themselves and need to learn their true value as precious individuals made in God's image. Some people overvalue themselves and need to learn to put others first. It's a question of achieving a healthy balance. Valuing myself correctly - not too little and not too much - means I can say: I deserve happiness just as much as everyone else, and everyone else deserves happiness just as much as I do.
the Ayn Rand quote had two parts - the first was about valuing yourself, the second was about fighting for your happiness. the first bit I have no problem with whatsoever.
in fact, I believe we humans go through a humungous amount of unnecessary suffering because we undervalue ourselves. and I believe one of the most important messages people need to hear is: you are precious, you were made in God's image, he loves you so much that he sent his son to die in your place - that's how precious you are, not just to some ordinary human but to the creator of the universe himself!
so, yes, value yourself. definitely. you are precious, significant, a unique individual with your own unique gifts and God regards you as precious.
but does that necessarily mean you should fight for your happiness, as Ayn Rand suggested? (I'm not going to try and unpick the thing in the American Declaration of Independence about a right to pursue your happiness - the whole issue of what we mean by "a right" and where we might get these "rights" from is a whole 'nother story. Not for now.)
Now, I need to slightly digress here and say: sometimes there's stuff we read which can be really valuable for a certain person because of where they're at right now, and for another person it could be useless, or even dangerous, because of where they're at. It's to do with the journey we've been through, the things we have struggled with, the things we have yet to learn, the emotional scars that still need healing, etc.
It's a bit like the "slow" signs on the roads. I remember in one of my driving lessons, driving through a rather bendy road where the speed limit was 60mph but I was a bit scared so I was probably doing 40, I came to a "slow" sign and my driving instructor saw me reach for the brake pedal and said: no, don't slow down, that sign is for people doing 60 and more.
So if someone has been doing 25 on the "pursuit of happiness" road then perhaps they do need encouragement to speed up a bit. Whereas for those who tend to go over the speed limit anyway, what is more helpful is a "slow" sign.
End of detour. Back to the matter in hand: pursuing happiness, fighting for your happiness - here are my jumbled thoughts.
My immediate reaction, seeing this quote on a Christian friend's blog, was: but how can you square fighting for your happiness with the call to seek first the kingdom of God, trusting that he will provide all that we need? or with that stuff Jesus said about taking up your cross and following him? not to mention being prepared to face persecution for your faith?
But on the other hand - didn't Jesus say he came so that we may have abundant life? and doesn't God love me and want me to be happy?
And then again - what is happiness anyway? and how would one go about pursuing it, or fighting for it? Doesn't happiness tend to find you in some very unexpected places, when you're busy doing other things, maybe even doing things for other people - when you've decided to take up your cross, to forgo your own happiness for the sake of others?
We've been told to love others as we love ourselves - which does kind of presuppose that we do love ourselves, and if I met someone who doesn't then I would start with that, I wouldn't start by preaching selflessness to them. This goes back to my earlier driving analogy. If a person is very egocentric then they need to learn to love others more, but if a person is a virtual doormat then they need to learn to value themselves more.
But assuming we've got that bit in place, the loving ourselves bit, then we are told to love others as we love ourselves - so pursuing my own happiness shouldn't be at the top of my agenda. I'm not saying it shouldn't be there at all - just that it shouldn't become more important than pursuing other people's happiness.
As a Christian, what should be at the top of my agenda? Loving God and loving others.
Jesus told us to seek first God's kingdom and trust that our Father knows what we need and will take care of us. So yes, God loves me and wants what's best for me, and knowing how much he values me, how precious I am to him, I can trust him to provide all that I need. (though not necessarily what I'd like and when I'd like it...) I don't think he wants me to put my efforts into chasing after happiness, I think he'd much rather I pursued his agenda and not mine, trusting in his love and faithfulness.
And of course if I love God, then doing his will is where I'll find true happiness.
But on the other hand... if a person has been overdoing the selfless sacrifice side of things, then it may be that God's message to them where they're at is: hey, loosen up a bit, you don't actually have a responsibility to fix the problems of everyone in the universe - that's my job. Stop working so hard. Go get an ice cream, take a walk in the park, play with the kids/pets/whatever, take time to actually enjoy life!
Some people undervalue themselves and need to learn their true value as precious individuals made in God's image. Some people overvalue themselves and need to learn to put others first. It's a question of achieving a healthy balance. Valuing myself correctly - not too little and not too much - means I can say: I deserve happiness just as much as everyone else, and everyone else deserves happiness just as much as I do.
