On one of the social networking sites where I hang out, they've introduced a "report abuse" feature for comments on posts. Yesterday I saw a post by someone trying to be helpful and to explain this new feature to others, saying they should report it if they see "naughty" comments, and later, when asked about what he had meant by that, he said he had used the word "naughty" to refer to "anything that a person would not like to see in a comment."
I'm seriously hoping he didn't really mean that. Taken literally, I could report his comment on that basis: I really would not like to see people suggesting that people should report others for saying things simply on the grounds that it's something they'd rather not see.
But this got me thinking: what would it be ok to report people for?
It's very easy to say: report comments which are racist, sexist, hateful. It's easy to say that, because this is what western culture currently says is unacceptable. Just as there were times when racism was the social norm, but blaspheming against God could get you burned at the stake. (Which seems to me a blasphemy against God, but that's another story.)
It's also very easy for me to say this because I'm a woman and I'm Jewish, so racism and sexism are serious issues for me personally.
But here's the problem: I want the freedom to express myself, to say what I think without someone forcing me to shut up. And this means I have to give that freedom also to those who would say things that offend me.
Sure, there are things I hear (or read) which offend me and personally I'd rather people didn't say. Like I said, I'm a woman and I'm Jewish, so I get offended by some stuff that objectifies women and I get offended by negative stereotyping of Jews; I'm an Israeli, so I get offended by some of the stuff I hear said about my country; I'm a follower of Jesus, so I get offended by anti-God stuff and by... hang on a minute, this is where it gets kind of interesting...
You see, as a follower of Jesus I get offended not just by vile things people say about Jesus or about his followers - as a follower of Jesus I get offended by unloving attitudes that people show towards one another, and I get particularly angry when these attitudes come from people who claim to be Christians. When I hear people spewing hatred towards a group of people and claiming to do so in the name of God, to me this is blasphemy.
But back to what I was saying before: there are things which offend me and personally I'd rather people didn't say them. But there's a major difference between saying "personally I'd rather you didn't" and saying "thou shalt not". You see, there are things I say that offend other people, and just as I don't want someone to force me to shut up, I don't want to force others to shut up either.
Some of those who read my posts over there may at this point say: so why did you yell so loudly about those boob pictures? and I will say again: there's a major difference between saying "personally I'd rather you didn't" and saying "thou shalt not" - I won't tell you not to, but just as you have the right to post things that offend me, I have the right to point out that they do offend me. And, once you know I'm offended, you might or might not change your behaviour as a result - it's up to you: there is no automatic "someone is offended by X, therefore I mustn't say X" - human discourse is such that as soon as we open our mouths we may offend someone somewhere, and we won't get very far with debate if causing offence would automatically make us shut up. I blog about my faith knowing that what I say is offensive to lots of people - being a Jewish believer in Jesus is something that some would prefer to sweep under the carpet and pretend there's no such thing. And saying that I believe Jesus is the only way to God - that is obviously offensive to people who believe in other ways. But this is what I strongly believe, and it's important to me to talk about it openly.
So, just as I value the freedom to say things that are offensive to others, I will fight for the right of others to say things that are offensive to me.
p.s. I do, however, reserve the right to moderate comments on my own posts - my focus here was on what people say on their own or on other people's posts (or what they say offline). Still, I don't often remove comments, it's not a decision I take lightly, and certainly not just on the grounds of the content being offensive to me personally.
23 Sept 2011
12 Sept 2011
Like-minded people? There's no such thing.
I've been exploring a new social networking site and getting to know new people. It's great fun. One day I stumbled upon a thread where, in the context of this SN site still being invitation-only, someone wondered if maybe it would be nicer if it stayed that way, so that he could keep interacting with like-minded people.
Like-minded people? Really? Is there such a thing?
It must be weeks since I saw that comment, but it has stayed on my mind. It has haunted me as I've been getting to know more people, people who are fun and interesting and inspiring and yes, we have some things in common but in other areas we are miles apart, and that's cool - that's part of the joy of human interaction, getting to hear different points of view, getting insights into how other people see things, getting to know someone who is - gasp! - of a different culture, different faith group, different political persuasion, different mentality... getting to know people with different preferences, people whose favourite colour is green when I really like pink, people who love eating stuff that I can't stand, people who are into different hobbies, different genres of literature, different tv programmes... Like-minded? yes, no, maybe... you normally start from something you have in common, yes, but then as you get to know a person you discover other aspects, you discover the differences, and if you're both grown-up about it, you can build friendships with people without having to pretend you agree about everything.
The thing is, there is no chance that I will ever find another human being on this earth who will agree with me about everything. I can find people who are like-minded in one sense or other, for example when I go to church I meet with people who share my faith so we are like-minded in one aspect, but that doesn't mean we can't find stuff that we see differently. People join all sorts of groups where they meet with people who share their political view or their love for a hobby or whatever, and if they keep to that subject they might be able to remain under the illusion that they are in the company of like-minded people, but once you scratch the surface you will find that there is no such thing as two thinking people who are of the same mind about everything. And whilst the like-mindedness may be the starting point, whilst it might be what draws you to start talking to someone, it's actually the differences that make it interesting to carry on. If all the other person ever said was "oh yes, me too" it would get boring.
There is sometimes a comfort in talking to people who you know agree with you about something in particular, when you're weary from debates it's quite nice to be able to retreat into a little huddle with a few friends and sigh together about those out there who "don't get it"... but living life like that all the time would be so vanilla... and anyway, it's impossible unless you switch your brain off and find others who have done the same.
Like-minded people? Really? Is there such a thing?
It must be weeks since I saw that comment, but it has stayed on my mind. It has haunted me as I've been getting to know more people, people who are fun and interesting and inspiring and yes, we have some things in common but in other areas we are miles apart, and that's cool - that's part of the joy of human interaction, getting to hear different points of view, getting insights into how other people see things, getting to know someone who is - gasp! - of a different culture, different faith group, different political persuasion, different mentality... getting to know people with different preferences, people whose favourite colour is green when I really like pink, people who love eating stuff that I can't stand, people who are into different hobbies, different genres of literature, different tv programmes... Like-minded? yes, no, maybe... you normally start from something you have in common, yes, but then as you get to know a person you discover other aspects, you discover the differences, and if you're both grown-up about it, you can build friendships with people without having to pretend you agree about everything.
The thing is, there is no chance that I will ever find another human being on this earth who will agree with me about everything. I can find people who are like-minded in one sense or other, for example when I go to church I meet with people who share my faith so we are like-minded in one aspect, but that doesn't mean we can't find stuff that we see differently. People join all sorts of groups where they meet with people who share their political view or their love for a hobby or whatever, and if they keep to that subject they might be able to remain under the illusion that they are in the company of like-minded people, but once you scratch the surface you will find that there is no such thing as two thinking people who are of the same mind about everything. And whilst the like-mindedness may be the starting point, whilst it might be what draws you to start talking to someone, it's actually the differences that make it interesting to carry on. If all the other person ever said was "oh yes, me too" it would get boring.
There is sometimes a comfort in talking to people who you know agree with you about something in particular, when you're weary from debates it's quite nice to be able to retreat into a little huddle with a few friends and sigh together about those out there who "don't get it"... but living life like that all the time would be so vanilla... and anyway, it's impossible unless you switch your brain off and find others who have done the same.
The problem of justice
Do we want justice? or do we want justice only when it suits us?
When we hear on the news about some serial murderer or child abuser or rapist who butchered his victims, the natural feeling is a desire for justice to be done, for the person who did these evil things to be punished. There is public outrage when it looks like someone who has committed terrible crimes is being let off lightly. We want to see these people pay for what they've done, and we like to feel that the punishment fits the crime, we like to feel that the payment is at an appropriate level.
We have a desire for justice to be done. When we see someone weak being oppressed by someone stronger, we react with moral outrage - whether it's physical or verbal abuse, whether it's big corporations maltreating the poor, wealthy countries treating third world countries unfairly, etc etc etc - we see some kind of behaviour that seems to us unjust, and we get angry.
So, how do you think God feels? He made this world, he made us in his image - which means we have a capacity to love, to show compassion and kindness - but so often we choose a different way, so often we go with our selfish desires and simply don't care how many people we have to tread on in order to get what we want. We look at murderers and rapists and child abusers and see the evil in them, but how often do we look in the mirror and see the evil in ourselves? There was a sad joke I saw recently on Facebook, which said: "Please copy and post this as your status even if just for a few minutes, if you know someone who is alive today because you can't afford a hitman...." The truth is, though most of us do not actually kill people, we do have this attitude within us, we do have those times or situations of really really hating someone and wishing them ill, people who get on our nerves so badly that we wish we could press a button and make them disappear, people who are in our way and we feel our lives could be so much better if only they weren't there, people we hate so much that we actually want to see them suffer - the truth is we are not perfect and wonderful and loving and compassionate people, not all the time. We have both sides - they say Hitler was kind to animals and to children. We like to pigeon-hole people like Hitler and serial murderers and so on into some kind of "evil people" category, distancing ourselves from them as though we are totally different, but if we look at our inner thoughts and feelings, we'll see a much darker picture than we're comfortable with.
God sees that darker picture within us - he knows each of us inside out, he knows our most intimate thoughts and feelings, even the stuff we don't admit to ourselves. And he sees all our evil and selfish behaviour - not just the big things.
Justice - do we really want it? Do we want everyone to pay for the bad things they've done? Everyone - including ourselves?
The Bible says that a day will come when God will judge us - everyone, each and every human being who has ever lived is going to stand in front of God's throne. What will you plead when you stand before him? You are - like each and every human being who has ever lived, apart from Jesus - guilty. You may be guilty of lesser sins than Hitler, but have you led a perfect life, never hurting anyone? If you are human and if you look at your life honestly, you will realise that you are not perfect and that, like the rest of us, you are guilty.
There are two issues to be decided in a courtroom: first there is the question of whether or not the defendant is guilty. Once guilt has been established, there is the issue of sentencing: what will the punishment be?
When the day comes and we all stand before God to be judged, we will be able to do nothing other than plead guilty. But when it comes to sentencing and punishment, there will be two groups: people who will suffer for what they've done, and people who go free despite what they've done.
The difference depends on what you decide now, whilst you're still alive on this earth. The choice is simple: there is someone who has already suffered the punishment for everyone, and it's up to you personally to accept his sacrifice for you. Jesus died as an atoning sacrifice for the whole of humankind, once and for all, and those who believe in him will be able to stand before God's throne on that day and say: yes, I'm guilty, but Jesus' blood was shed to cover my sins.
I made that choice in July 2002, which means if I get hit by a bus tomorrow I know I'm safe. How about you? Have you made that choice yet? God's mercy is available, through Jesus, for everyone - but it's up to you to accept his offer.
When we hear on the news about some serial murderer or child abuser or rapist who butchered his victims, the natural feeling is a desire for justice to be done, for the person who did these evil things to be punished. There is public outrage when it looks like someone who has committed terrible crimes is being let off lightly. We want to see these people pay for what they've done, and we like to feel that the punishment fits the crime, we like to feel that the payment is at an appropriate level.
We have a desire for justice to be done. When we see someone weak being oppressed by someone stronger, we react with moral outrage - whether it's physical or verbal abuse, whether it's big corporations maltreating the poor, wealthy countries treating third world countries unfairly, etc etc etc - we see some kind of behaviour that seems to us unjust, and we get angry.
So, how do you think God feels? He made this world, he made us in his image - which means we have a capacity to love, to show compassion and kindness - but so often we choose a different way, so often we go with our selfish desires and simply don't care how many people we have to tread on in order to get what we want. We look at murderers and rapists and child abusers and see the evil in them, but how often do we look in the mirror and see the evil in ourselves? There was a sad joke I saw recently on Facebook, which said: "Please copy and post this as your status even if just for a few minutes, if you know someone who is alive today because you can't afford a hitman...." The truth is, though most of us do not actually kill people, we do have this attitude within us, we do have those times or situations of really really hating someone and wishing them ill, people who get on our nerves so badly that we wish we could press a button and make them disappear, people who are in our way and we feel our lives could be so much better if only they weren't there, people we hate so much that we actually want to see them suffer - the truth is we are not perfect and wonderful and loving and compassionate people, not all the time. We have both sides - they say Hitler was kind to animals and to children. We like to pigeon-hole people like Hitler and serial murderers and so on into some kind of "evil people" category, distancing ourselves from them as though we are totally different, but if we look at our inner thoughts and feelings, we'll see a much darker picture than we're comfortable with.
God sees that darker picture within us - he knows each of us inside out, he knows our most intimate thoughts and feelings, even the stuff we don't admit to ourselves. And he sees all our evil and selfish behaviour - not just the big things.
Justice - do we really want it? Do we want everyone to pay for the bad things they've done? Everyone - including ourselves?
The Bible says that a day will come when God will judge us - everyone, each and every human being who has ever lived is going to stand in front of God's throne. What will you plead when you stand before him? You are - like each and every human being who has ever lived, apart from Jesus - guilty. You may be guilty of lesser sins than Hitler, but have you led a perfect life, never hurting anyone? If you are human and if you look at your life honestly, you will realise that you are not perfect and that, like the rest of us, you are guilty.
There are two issues to be decided in a courtroom: first there is the question of whether or not the defendant is guilty. Once guilt has been established, there is the issue of sentencing: what will the punishment be?
When the day comes and we all stand before God to be judged, we will be able to do nothing other than plead guilty. But when it comes to sentencing and punishment, there will be two groups: people who will suffer for what they've done, and people who go free despite what they've done.
The difference depends on what you decide now, whilst you're still alive on this earth. The choice is simple: there is someone who has already suffered the punishment for everyone, and it's up to you personally to accept his sacrifice for you. Jesus died as an atoning sacrifice for the whole of humankind, once and for all, and those who believe in him will be able to stand before God's throne on that day and say: yes, I'm guilty, but Jesus' blood was shed to cover my sins.
I made that choice in July 2002, which means if I get hit by a bus tomorrow I know I'm safe. How about you? Have you made that choice yet? God's mercy is available, through Jesus, for everyone - but it's up to you to accept his offer.
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