So I'm hanging out in a group discussion somewhere on the net, nice friendly chat, until this guy turns up who has turned into a bulldozer and starts shooting everyone down in an unbelievably aggressive manner. (Yes, I know I'm mixing my metaphors, bulldozers don't shoot, but I'm sure you get the picture.)
So I'm watching this guy with horror - I really want to answer him but I can't think of anything that would be constructive, and I really don't fancy getting this sort of guy on my case - and then into the discussion comes a very nice lady who says to him: you're not very nice are you, I don't like the way you're snapping at everyone. And the bulldozer apologises and calms down. Phew.
I sent her a message to say well done, and she said: I'm generally non-confrontational, but he made the mistake of picking on my friend.
It reminded me of someone I worked with in London - about 30 people in an office, plenty of gossip and back-stabbing - who simply refused to listen to anything negative that anyone had to say about anyone else in the firm. If you tried telling him something bad about someone, he would say: don't talk like that about my friend.
So what am I getting at? Well, it's a vague thought but it's something to do with how if we regard everyone as friends, as people we care about, then we are much more likely to come to their defence when they need it. It all goes back to that "love your neighbour" stuff - caring enough about the other person to go out of your way, to even take risks sometimes, to help them in need.
I read a horrifying news item the other day about a man who was driving and stopped on his way to help a woman who had been run over by a car and was dying. When he saw her handbag he recognised this woman was his wife - he'd been on his way to meet her. I can't begin to imagine how he must have felt. But how would he have felt if he hadn't stopped, if he had just thought something like, I haven't got time to stop and help a stranger, I'm in a hurry to meet my wife... How would he have felt if nobody had stopped to help her? There is that old chestnut about how everybody thought somebody should do it, but in the end nobody did it. It's very easy to tut tut about the state of our society today, to tsk tsk about people not stopping to help a stranger like they used to, but the real challenge for each of us is: would we stop to help, or would we be in a tearing hurry, or just plain scared, and hope someone else would do it?
So I'm watching this guy with horror - I really want to answer him but I can't think of anything that would be constructive, and I really don't fancy getting this sort of guy on my case - and then into the discussion comes a very nice lady who says to him: you're not very nice are you, I don't like the way you're snapping at everyone. And the bulldozer apologises and calms down. Phew.
I sent her a message to say well done, and she said: I'm generally non-confrontational, but he made the mistake of picking on my friend.
It reminded me of someone I worked with in London - about 30 people in an office, plenty of gossip and back-stabbing - who simply refused to listen to anything negative that anyone had to say about anyone else in the firm. If you tried telling him something bad about someone, he would say: don't talk like that about my friend.
So what am I getting at? Well, it's a vague thought but it's something to do with how if we regard everyone as friends, as people we care about, then we are much more likely to come to their defence when they need it. It all goes back to that "love your neighbour" stuff - caring enough about the other person to go out of your way, to even take risks sometimes, to help them in need.
I read a horrifying news item the other day about a man who was driving and stopped on his way to help a woman who had been run over by a car and was dying. When he saw her handbag he recognised this woman was his wife - he'd been on his way to meet her. I can't begin to imagine how he must have felt. But how would he have felt if he hadn't stopped, if he had just thought something like, I haven't got time to stop and help a stranger, I'm in a hurry to meet my wife... How would he have felt if nobody had stopped to help her? There is that old chestnut about how everybody thought somebody should do it, but in the end nobody did it. It's very easy to tut tut about the state of our society today, to tsk tsk about people not stopping to help a stranger like they used to, but the real challenge for each of us is: would we stop to help, or would we be in a tearing hurry, or just plain scared, and hope someone else would do it?
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