You wouldn't believe the things that people would go and do

I was going to write something and head it "et tu, BT?" following my attempt a few days ago to get British Telecom to divulge to me how much they charge for a call to an 0870 number - obviously highly classified information, which you can only receive after giving them your phone number, your name, your postcode, and possibly some other stuff I've forgotten. You may think I'm blowing it out of proportion, but, you know, things do get out of proportion when you've been waiting 15 minutes to talk to someone whilst being constantly told by a recorded message that they are very busy at the moment, which I translate as: we can't be bothered to hire enough staff to answer your calls more quickly. And that 15-minute wait comes, naturally, after the usual ritual of having to press 1 if you're an Aries and 5 if you prefer your pizza with olives.

Tsk. Everyone gets annoyed by these things, right?

And what about those people who dawdle on the road, doing 40mph when the speed limit is 60? Isn't that just infuriating?

And those cyclists who cycle on pavements?

Oh, hang on a minute, what did you say? You do that yourself? Oh, sorry, hmmm, well, now that you mention it, it's not really such an awful thing to do, now, is it... Hmmm... No, you're right, it's not anywhere near as bad as murder... And, yes, you're right, I probably do some things that annoy other people. Actually, I expect there's someone somewhere at this very moment having a moan about people who write blogs in which they moan about all their pet peeves.

The thing is, first of all, to get things into proportion. My pet peeves are only my pet peeves, nothing more. Doing things that annoy me is not, in itself, wrong. (That's because I am not the centre of the universe.)

And when you discover who the person is that was doing whatever it was that was annoying you, and if turns out that that person is someone you actually like, that kind of takes the sting out of the whole thing, doesn't it? I remember a particularly stressful day at work when I got very worked up because when I went to the photocopier and put a page in and pressed the button, what came out was a pink photocopy. Because somebody had used pink paper and forgotten to remove it. I came back to my desk muttering darkly, 'You wouldn't believe the things that some people would go and do!' until my best friend at work apologetically confessed, 'It was me.' That's when I burst out laughing.

And ever since then, when I find myself getting worked up about annoying things that people do, all I have to do is say to myself, 'You wouldn't believe the things that some people would go and do,' and the bubble bursts and I find myself laughing.

So, if you see someone sitting in a car, stuck in a traffic jam, laughing her head off, it may be me...